STARSHINE, THE OCEAN AND THE UNICORN
Chapter Five                                                                                                Part six




                  The cellar was dark except for the cold gleam of metal barrels that were stacked on their sides in a pyramid  of circles that eyed Joe in the pitch black.  He had got the keys out of the Morris Minor and then found the cellar door had been left ajar with its padlock hanging open.  So he had gone inside to escape the drizzle, rather than walking back round to the pub door.
                  He stood in the dark.  He felt the uneven flagstones beneath his feet and he saw a feint cloud in front of him that was his breath in the cold air.  All he could hear was loud water, rushing and gushing like wild rapids that carried away all of his thoughts.  Then there was silence.  He stood in the blackness and the silence and everything was forgotten. 
                   A light went on. It hurt his eyes.  He blinked and remembered who and where he was.  He felt the car keys pressing into the soft palm of his tightly clenched fist and remembered he had to return them to Annie. And there she was coming down the cellar stairs.  He saw her pretty stockinged legs as they gracefully descended, followed by her slender cat-like body as she came out of the shadows and into the light.  She was carrying an empty crate.  She did not see Joe.  He moved towards her and met her at the bottom of the stairs.  She looked up, startled.  She said nothing. She was scared.  Joe did not understand her fear.  She let him take the crate from her and she watched him put it down on a pile of others beside him.  Then he held out the keys,
                                                                                      " I forgot to give you these."
                     She took hold of them and tried to snatch them away quickly, but Joe had hold of her wrist and drew her to him.  She pressed her hands against his chest and tried to push herself away from him, but his arms were locked around her. She was nervous, she started to shake.
                  "Why are you shaking ?"  he said softly.
                  " I'm cold. "  Her shivering put a tremor in her voice.  " Joe I'm tired.  I don't want you to stay tonight."
                   He was silent.  He closed his eyes and saw again how she had kept her distance all evening and not raised her eyes to his.  He remembered that morning when she had not kissed or touched him and how much he had wanted her to.  He felt a hot tear trickle from the corner of his eye.  He felt anger and rejection begin to burn in the pit of his soul.
                      "But we're lovers. "  His throat was dry, his voice was quiet and strained.
                      " No, Joe. " She looked down and shook her head slowly.
                      " But I'll have so much money. "
                      " No, Joe. "
                      " I'll have so much."
                      " No ! "
                      " Its true, I'll have three million pounds. "
                      " No Joe. "
                      " We'll go away some place. "
                      " I said no. "
                      His anger flared and the white hot flame was bitter.  He pushed her into the pile of crates.  She fell and the crates fell around her.  She tried to calm him.  She tried to tell him that everything was alright and they could go upstairs and make love.  But Joe heard nothing through his anger.  All of him burned.  His mind wailed and writhed and memories rushed at him, screaming into the fire where they tossed and turned and burned.
                    He saw the moustachioed, trilby'd courier at the airport fall off his bar stool and stare at the ceiling.  He saw a black briefcase, a grey trousered leg, a tan shoe and a green gabardine.  He saw the glint of evil laughter in Jason's eye as he laid down the deal of six murders in exchange for his own life.  He saw the multi-coloured money thrown over him and he felt the sand fall over his bowed head and down his back. He saw the long, blue tongue of Bernie Summers in clear, shiny plastic . He saw the huddled body of a security guard he had not been supposed to kill, inside a nailed up crate.  He saw a burning car and heard a widow's screaming.  He saw the bulging eyes of Jack O' Neil, sitting on a toilet he would never leave.  He saw the sweet old lady in her candied living room and he saw the raspberry jam flow from the Victoria sponge cake and out of her chest and belly.  He saw Maria in a church, lighting five candles.  He saw the old Jew's sad eyes forgiving him as he reached inside the shattered counter and took back his granny's pearls.  He saw his granny's toothless kindness and bedtime stories of deep down in the sea.  He saw Roy's fury at the door when he had brought back the shiny, red bike.  He heard Roy's sobbing when he found the broken kaleidoscope hidden in a shoe box under a bed.  He saw Roy's demented eyes like blue glazed china.  He saw the dark shadow of Roy's back as he sat on the end of a bed in silent horror. He saw Roy in blue striped pyjamas, shaking and sweating I a hospital bed at the end of a long, dark, shoe box room.  He saw Annie's sensuous joy as they made love in her bed and he felt her soft flesh beneath his and he felt himself hard and pushing between her thighs to enter her where he felt her warmth and softness close around him.  He hated all of them.  He hated the dead courier for being dead. He hated the green gabardine for having no face.  He hated Jason for making him kill.  He hated all the people he had murdered for being his victims.  He hated Maria for lighting candles.  He hated the old Jew for his forgiveness.  He hated his granny for her kindness.  He hated Roy for not helping him, for suffering when he did bad things and making him feel shame.  He hated Annie for loving him and then not loving him.
               Then he saw her lying beneath him.  She was crying, her tears ran black with mascara.  Her hair was mussed and blood trickled down the side of her face from a gash on her temple.  Her dress was torn over one shoulder and one white breast.  Her shoulder was bruised.  Joe pulled out from her and stood up.  He tucked in his T-shirt and zipped up his jeans.  He stood over her and saw what he had done.  Her dress was up around her waist, her black lace knickers were torn away and her suspenders no longer held her crumpled silk-stockings.  She cried and shivered. She lay awkwardly like a broken doll, her arms and legs disarranged over the crates and her vagina exposed and weeping with his unwanted semen.                                                                                                  
































    
  



         
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